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Monday, December 12, 2005
A few days' of lapse in writing have amounted to a morass of unsorted thoughts that I feel compelled to free them in unbridled words. And so. Another conversation with my best friend led to the topic of deep-thinkers. I think I might be one of 'em because simply, I like to think and analyse things around me. Sometimes, I wonder how I may appear brooding and pessimistic with all those unspoken thoughts afloat in my head. But that's beside the point. Anyway, she professed to be a deep-thinker too and she doubts whether anyone knows this fact. I said,"I presume that's because you don't think anyone would understand, huh?" "Yeah, along that line." Now that is the universal problem faced by deep-thinking people like her or me. No one seems to understand. I couldn't have put it better when she said that she could not bother with telling people what she thinks because chances are, they would misunderstand and she doesn't want to undergo further trouble in trying to explain what she thinks. And sometimes, I doubt even my closest friends would understand despite the effort to lucidize what I am trying to say. But that doesn't matter as long as I have the freedom to write what I want to write. Deep-thinking isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, I wish I know more people who bother to even think where their lives are heading. If only people can stop, and look, listen, think. The way I see most people out there is that, they are air-heads living a zombie's life. People give them shit and they take it happily and even want more shit. How sad. You see, this life has no birth warranty. Anything can happen to you. Like how she puts it, what if it happens to me? And at the moment when your life seems to be about to be put out like a flame 'poof-ed' by a sudden gust of wind, imagine all those thoughts rushing in a blur through your mind. You wouldn't be thinking about how you are going to rush out the report by tomorrow, would you? Nor would you be picturing yourself shopping which you have long before planned. Because you would be overwhelmed with a mess of feelings: confusion, regret, shock, sadness. Two days back, both of us were discussing about life's fragility. And I said,"If I were to die NOW, I will die a person full of regrets." To which, she jokingly said,"CHOY! TOUCH WOOD!" Of course, I laughed. But I continued by saying,"Because I've hurt too many people. Have done too many mistakes and wrongs. Haven't done too many things." She agreed. Sometimes, abit of deep thinking serves as a sombre reminder of many life's tragedies. The truth is, suffering is only but universal and unavoidable. But many of us, surrounded by life's lush luxuries, have turned a blind eye to what should be the most important things in this world. We choose to remain seemingly ignorant of the brevity of life, thinking we are still young and take many things for granted. But self-denial never works. We may occupy ourselves with playing life's toys to distract ourselves from disturbing notions of sickness and death. We may find ways to stall ageing. But com'on, let's be honest. We all are gonna die - someday. It may be one year later, or decades later...or even the next minute, today. Even a deep-thinker like me, as what she calls me, I tend to take things for granted too. But at least, I think. And I know. It's sadder for ignorant people to die without understanding and experiencing at least some of life's truths. It's not my business to care anyway. Whether those people are thinking or not. It's their lives afterall. But sometimes, when you see too many air-heads, you just can't help but wonder, whether deep thinking really has become a lost treasure of life. Posted by |z|r| at |
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kindly. SHOUT. archives credits |
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