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Friday, December 09, 2005
I had a late-night conversation with a guy friend who was suffering from unreciprocated love. I could acutely feel his agony. I most probably would be weeping days end if I were in his shoes. You know, it's really an irony that when love is supposed to be a happy feeling, it brings so much misery to people too. However, if anyone ever bothers to examine his feeling of what he calls love, perhaps it isn't love at all. Because if it is a feeling of longing and clinging, then is it really love? And what is love in the first place? I imagine love for someone really to be a pellucid understanding that the someone is just like ourselves -a human complete with thoughts and feelings- and we care for the someone as we would for ourselves. Which would mean love is without expectations because it transcends all physical and emotional definitions of a person. You love for no reason except simply because the person is a human being, like yourself, and you don't like him or her to suffer. If that's really the case, then unreciprocated love should not hurt. Yet, an unreciprocated love hurts because we want the people we love to love us back. Then in the first place, what we have for the other people cannot be love because it selfish. It's like an emotional transaction: I love you, you love me back. And there's also this funny part about people. Most of us design people to love. And so we come up with a list of desirable characteristic traits we want to see in a potential love interest. When tried and tested that a particular kind of person isn't suitable for us, we move on to other choices, ticking off those 'failed' ones. It is an insult to Love's name when we claim to love someone if we think he or she pleases us. And I hope I shall never make this mistake of loving wrongly and ignorantly. For I want to love a man despite all his flaws and wrongs, and to the end, he can be sure that he would always be loved - no matter what. Posted by |z|r| at |
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kindly. SHOUT. archives credits |
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